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Track 1 Online dating

How to be effective with online date sites

Dr. Hans Rauk, PHD


The first thing you need to know when taking the leap to online dating is “how to do it” for effectiveness. It is like anything else in life, to get ahead there are rules to adhere to and pitfalls to avoid.  I will be giving you some heads up tips on the online dating scene that if used, will almost guarantee success in finding a partner (or two, three…etc.) for love, romance, lust or friends.

One of the major mistakes many make is lying (even just a little) in their profile. When you're seeking out others online you must be honest! Anyone can make a mistake of omission in the dating profile but a blatant lie is not something someone can forgive you for. If things progress to a real time meeting, lies will be uncovered. Nobody can remember all the details of a lie long term and the longer a lie goes on, the more damage it will do. There's already a big thing with trusting people who use Internet dating web sites so lying is not going to do you any favors. Honesty is an attractive trait in people. The most important points are to be honest, be open and transparent if you expect the same of others.

You have to send out email and respond to other profiles.  Not sending any e-mail will affect your results. Many never send emails for various reasons.  One reason for this is you can't send any until you have paid for your membership on many online dating sites. That is one of the MAJOR drawbacks of most online date sites.  If you can join for free and have to pay to actually get to use the site, over 85% of free members never pay and never come back.  That means you have to wade through hundreds of profiles that you have no chance to ever meet. If you want to know more about different types of dating sites you can click here.  Of course you can reply to emails sent to you, but you need to initiate your own contact to really get results. It's no good just setting up your profile just to receive contact from other singles. Others like to receive emails as much as you. When sending out emails add a personal touch that mentions something in their profile to show your recipient that you're attracted to them by what you have read in their profile.


You have to have a strong and interesting profile.  Having an empty profile is a sure way not to get contacted. By having an empty profile you're giving the impression you're only there to window shop. You need to have a nice detailed dating profile so others can see what you are and offer. They want to see what you enjoy about life, and what your goals are. They can get an idea of a future with you this way, and it puts a picture in their mind. Remember to keep all your information positive. Being negative is another big turnoff. There are some great tips to writing a profile at this site (click here).

You need to take an active approach to online dating. Not visiting the your chosen dating site(s) will stop others from contacting you and you have to be proactive. Many dating sites will show the last time you have been online. If you only visit the service once a month others will see this, and it will show you're not that serious in your search. Also the more active you are your profile will get higher in the search results as the internet dating service likes activity as well. Regardless of whether the site posts your last visit or not, you want to be checking out the new ads of others.  Being aggressive and one of the first to respond to an ad gives you another leg up on the competition.  Remember that you are one of many out there and just like life, the win goes to the swift in most things.

Photos are important! Contacting singles just because you like their photo will get you nowhere. The most attractive singles on any date site will always get the most messages. These will usually be flirts or stupid “winks” from singles on a free trial. These will very rarely get a reply so you'll start assuming that no one wants to reply to your messages. Read someone's profile first before making any contact, and then send them an email. Just because you like the look of someone doesn't mean you will have a lasting relationship with him or her. It probably wouldn't get second look if that is your obvious motivation for responding to their ad.

Next is YOUR PHOTO.  You need to make sure that it shows you at your best.  Do not post photos that include any other(s) person!  No matter who the other(s) is in the picture, it will elicit assumptions from anyone looking at it.  You want a clear view of your face and a substantial view of your body.  Nudes, pictures of genitalia, and over provocative exposures will NOT help you!  I can not tell you in strong enough language how having a wrong photo in a profile can harm your serious search!  Ask a close friend to help you pick out a good picture or at least give your choice serious thought before posting any photo.

Never make any sexual requests or innuendos in any initial emails to another. You might think that it's funny or provocative, but it will only turn them off. Even if the site is an adult site geared toward affairs or sexual liaisons, you need to be subtle and attentive to your timing regardless. If you understand that many won’t be as tactful and discrete in their initial emails, you will find that you can impress more by giving some time before you move to more explicit expressions.


If you stay away from the common mistakes you can actually get very positive results from most online date sites.  Choosing an online site is important too.  I suggest continue to explore this site and other suggested sites to get a good over view of the options out there and if you do…
You will not be alone much longer!


Personals Station will help you not only find good online dating sites but will give you Ideas and resources for finding success in cyberspace and real time!
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Track 2 Online chat and email etiquette 
Track 3 Support sites for online dating success   
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